4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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