I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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