thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize