Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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