She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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