glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
high people should be assigned attendants
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
