Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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