belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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