I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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