I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
he fucked my hip out of place.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
