Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
