i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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