also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
