i'm lost and i look like a hooker
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
