You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
