We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
