a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
