3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
