Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
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