I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
