Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
