we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
