Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
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We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
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If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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