Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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