good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
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I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
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Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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