It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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