i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
