the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
