they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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