Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I smell like Dick and happiness
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
