Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
