so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
