How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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