Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
