all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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