Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
