Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
