I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
