Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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