i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
she was so not down for the gang bang
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
