so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
