I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
