that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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