Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
