it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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