I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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