holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
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Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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