the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
