somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
