The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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