we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
