Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
false alarm, still single
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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