I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize