sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
