At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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