I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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