I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
