I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize