Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
