i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
