i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize
