New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
